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A common pattern in couple relationships is demand/withdraw. Within this pattern, one partner seeks connection, change, and resolution of the issue, whereas the other seeks to end the discussion and limit closeness. We sought to further understand and update the literature by examining the relationship of gender and attachment (both self-report and narrative discourse) with demand/withdraw behaviors during moderate couple conflict. Using data from 63 cisgender, heterosexual couples, we used the actor-partner interdependence model within multilevel modeling, to explore the research questions. Findings revealed that during the woman's issue, men were more likely to withdraw. During the man's issue, preoccupied attachment in either partner was associated with more demand and women higher in attachment anxiety were more likely to demand. Demand behaviors in one partner were also associated with withdraw behaviors in the other (and vice versa). In this article, we discuss the research and clinical implications of these findings.

RESUMEN

We conducted an observational study of a collection of interactive processes known as "demand-withdraw" in relation to adolescent dating aggression. Couples (N = 209) aged 14-18 years participated in a challenging observational laboratory assessment to measure demands (i.e., pressures for a change), as well as demand → partner withdraw and demand → partner avoid sequences. Actor and partner effects were disentangled via dyadic data analyses. The results indicated a fairly consistent pattern in which demand → withdraw and demand → avoid sequences led by either partner were positively associated with both partners' physical and psychological aggression (measured via a dual informant questionnaire method). Further, higher quality demands (i.e., pressures for change that were specific and encouraged both members of the dyad to increase a given behavior) were inversely associated with aggression. Yet, all of the above associations were attenuated to the point of statistical nonsignificance after controlling for hostility. These results suggest two primary possibilities. The associations of demand → withdraw and demand → avoid sequences with dating aggression may be spurious, with the sequences merely markers for hostility, a known correlate of dating aggression. Alternatively, hostility may mediate the relations of demand → withdraw and demand → avoid sequences with dating aggression. Further research is required to test these competing explanations. Implications for preventive intervention are discussed.

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Insecure attachment in couples is negatively associated with relationship functioning. Similarity of partner attachment on the other hand might attenuate such relationship outcomes. We tested the opposing insecurity and similarity hypotheses by examining associations of attachment with relationship satisfaction and instability in a representative community sample of couples (N = 1,014). We expected: (a) negative effects of insecure attachment (main effects of actor and partner avoidance and anxiety, and interaction effects consistent with fearful-avoidance and demand-withdraw patterns); and (b) positive effects of similarity in avoidance and anxiety. Actor-Partner-Interdependence Models showed clear support for the insecurity hypothesis. Main effects of avoidance and anxiety, explained 46.2% of the variance of satisfaction, and 17.9% of instability. We conclude that reducing insecurity of attachment, in particular avoidance, must be a central target in couple therapy. Interestingly, similarity of attachment can partially buffer the negative effects of attachment insecurity. Clinical implications are discussed.

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Intimate partner violence (IPV) is associated with symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). To clarify the influence of a dyadic conflict pattern that has previously been shown to accompany violence in romantic relationships (partner demand/self withdraw) on these mental health outcomes, we examined the associations between three forms of IPV (physical, emotional-verbal, dominance-isolation), partner demand/self withdraw, and PTSD and GAD symptoms, in a sample of 284 IPV-exposed women. Using structural equation modeling, we found significant associations between dominance-isolation IPV, partner demand/self withdraw, and clinician-assessed GAD symptoms. Associations between emotional-verbal IPV and partner demand/self withdraw were also significant. Associations for physical IPV, partner demand/self withdraw, and clinician-assessed PTSD symptoms were not statistically significant. These results underscore the need for research on the mental health outcomes associated with specific forms of IPV and the long-term psychological consequences of the conflict patterns that uniquely characterize violent relationships.

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The way romantic partners behave during conflict is known to relate to stress responses, including activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis; however, little attention has been paid to interactive effects of partners' behaviors, or to behavior outside of marital relationships. This study examined relations between unmarried partners' negative and positive behaviors during discussion of conflict and their HPA responses, including both main effects and cross-partner interactions. Emerging adult opposite-sex couples (n=199) participated in a 15-minute conflict discussion and afterward rated their behavior on 3 dimensions: conflictual, holding back, and supportive. Seven saliva samples collected before and after the discussion were assayed for cortisol to determine HPA response. Quadratic growth models demonstrated associations between male×female partners' behaviors and cortisol trajectories. Two negative dyadic patterns-mutual conflictual behavior (negative reciprocity); female conflictual/male holding back (demand-withdraw)-and one positive pattern-mutual supportive behavior-were identified. Whereas negative patterns related to lower cortisol and impaired post-discussion recovery for women, the positive pattern related to lower cortisol and better recovery for men. Women's conflictual behavior only predicted problematic cortisol responses if their partner was highly conflictual or holding back; at lower levels of these partner behaviors, the opposite was true. This work demonstrates similar costs of negative reciprocity and demand-withdraw and benefits of supportive conflict dynamics in dating couples as found in marital research, but associations with HPA are gender-specific. Cross-partner interactions suggest that behavior during discussion of conflict should not be categorized as helpful or harmful without considering the other partner's behavior.

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